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Southampton vs Everton – Sunday October 25th – 2PM KO

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You know what i’m talking about. I can’t even be bothered to talk too much about ‘it’ in this match preview, but it’s like they’re the only team in history who has ever got a serious injury in a match. Honestly never seen anything like it. He’s not fucking dead is he?!

And yes, it was a shit challenge, but he’s out shit goalkeeper isn’t he? What did you expect?! There is no way on earth he did it on purpose either, so just get over it seriously. Absolute victims.

Richarlison though. defo meant it. Good lad. Bout time we stopped bending over for that lot and actually showed we cared. Maybe a bit too much, but whatever. Get over it.

That definitely is more than enough about that.

Everton still ludicrously sit top of the league. We weren’t amazing against Liverpool, but we competed, and actually looked like on another day we could have won it. Which is a really nice feeling. They say it’s a good sign to be picking up points when you didn’t play particularly well. So i’ll take a point last weekend. We’ll win against them again one day. Probably.

What is also weird is that our main challengers, yes i’m calling it that, is bloody Aston usually get relegated in recent years Villa. Football is proper weird these days. They look alright don’t they? He’s still a rat though.

Like I don’t get why all these mad scorelines keep happening just because fans aren’t there. Fans aren’t in load of other leagues either but their scores seem relatively normal. I just don’t get it. At all. Fun though. Because we’re top. Top of the league.

This weekend we travel down to my former homeland for the Theo Walcott derby. He won’t play though. He never played for us anyway, but he can’t play for them as he’s on loan from us. I believe his contract is up with us this summer so we won’t see him in out blue again, so I hope he does alright at Southampton as it’s a nice story him going back to where it all began. Would need to take a pay cut to stay there though…..

So in the past i’ve banged on about how much I dislike Southampton as a club. But since moving away that’s died down a lot. They’re actually pretty harmless. Just going about their business doing things but not really doing a single thing. They won’t go down. They’ll sell their best players. That’s Southampton. And they’ve started the season just as average as all that sounds but got a good point at Chelsea last time out in one of those aforementioned mad scorelines.

Ralph Hasslehoff, think that’s his name, seems an alright bloke. You wouldn’t trust him near your wife like, just has that look, but he’s an alright manager isn’t he? After getting walloped for 9 last season he turned Saints right around and I guess that’s nice.

In nets, I think Alex McCarthey starts these days. Pretty much your bog standard prem keeper. Can be decent, has a balls up in him.

At the back Vestergaard is an absolute giant but also a bit shit, Jack Stephens screams Brexit and fulls backs are Kyle Walker-Peters who is single handedly trying to drag my fantasy team down and Ryan Bertrand….I think.

In midfield, they like James Ward-Prowse again despite hating him a while back, maybe the same will happen with Tom Davies here? Other midfielders include Romeu and Djenpo. Half decent but you wouldn’t want them at Everton.

Up top that little shit Danny Ings is really bloody good at scoring goals and ALWAYS scores past us. And Che Adams is a bit less shit than he was last season. Well done him.

12-9 to them if this season is anything to go by.

Oh dear there it is again.

Anyway, we go into this still unbeaten and it’s my birthday on Monday and I don’t remember ever still being unbeaten by my birthday so make it happen yeah?

The Liverpool game was tough. It was always going to be. As much as we hate them, they are the champions (for now). Some players really shone again, Calvert-Lewin just keeps on scoring. There were signs this might happen last season, but I don’t think anyone expected this. Pickford made some absolutely crucial saves but you know…he has the rest of his problems. But I want to single out….or double out Lucas Digne and Michael Keane. What a pair.

Pickford will undoubtedly start again for us. Olsen is a slight threat to him I guess, but I can’t see it changing here.

At the back, Keane and Mina are not exactly what you’d call a solid pair, due to the latter, but no reason to change fitness permitting. Digne at left back, and we are likely to see a full debut for Ben Godfrey who was pretty bloody good at right back after Coleman went off last weekend. He’s bloody lightening quick too.

In the middle, now then…Andre Gomes was shhhheeeeeeiiiittttteeee last time out, and I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing him miss out this game. Sigurdsson has been much better the few times we’ve seen him this season compared to last so maybe deserves a chance. Allan and Doucoure to tackle everything else in sight please.

Up top DCL obviously. Hames obviously. And sadly Richarlison is out for the foreseeable so more than likely Iwobi comes in and they seem to see something in him most of us do not! Some would like Anthony Gordon to start, but it’s just not happening is it?

No. It isn’t.

And that’s your week in Everton. Most of it hasn’t been about actual football so be nice to get back to what the game is about.

It’s so nice to still be top, and be unbeaten. I think we all know at some point this season we will lose a game or two, but it really feels like it will be less than usual this time around.

Let’s keep it going and I want a birthday win!



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