That was nice wasn’t it? A lovely weekend with no Everton stress. I hope you all had a great time. I mean we all would have preferred to still be in the FA Cup, but things weren’t to be so the lads had a jolly in Dubai while we got on with our lives. It was nice. I miss it already.
So Watford away. Let’s not mess about here. How funny was it when we wanted their decidedly average manager and it completely ruined them for a good two month period as Marco Silva flirted with us like that Portuguese waitress you met in the Algarve that year who was always giving you the eye but you pretended not to notice as you were with your mrs? Very funny indeed. Offering £12m for a manager seemed insane at the time, and it probably was. And we were desperate and ended up with Sam Allar-bloody-dyce. So back to that waitress….
Annoyingly though, the seemingly never ending Watford manager merry-go-round has seen them pick up again under Javi Gracia (not Garcia for some reason), and their plethora of the most random selection of foreign lads mixed with Troy Deeney and Tom Tom Cleverley la la laaaa. And of course Mrs Clev isn’t the only ex Everton player at Watford. Gerard Deulofeu is there too. I’m just going to say this about him…who would you rather have on our wing, Deulofeu or Yannick Bolasie? The choise is yours.
Anyway, looking down their squad is like some sort of world tour. You name it, they have it. Greece, Gabon, Brazil to name but a few…
In goal Heurelho Gomes – he must be about 200 now but has a mistake or 7 in him. Not that we have shots, but if we do, one might go through his legs… MEGS.
Prodl and Kaboul play at the back. I once saw Younes Kaboul down Ocean Village in Southampton when he was at Pompey. WHAT AN INTERESTING FACT.
In midfield they have Doucoure. Who actually looks very very decent. He has a first name, but I can’t spell it.
Richarlison plays on the wings. He’s a danger. I mean where and how did bloody Watford find him!? And why do we never do that. We just sign Rodrigo who kills himself doing a stepover in pre season and that’s that.
Up top Troy Deeney and Andre Gray. Have you ever seen anything more Watford than a front two like that?
As you can probably tell, I don’t know much about the Watford squad. Does Gomes still even play in nets for them? In all honesty, who cares? They have Deulofeu and i’m jealous of that. Even though he has the lungs of a 4 year old girl.
Our lovable (????) boys in blue have been on an intense training jolly in Dubai the last week or so. Did anyone else find it weird that all the little pictures and videos released included obvious placement of Davy Klaassen and Cenk Tosun? Like as if they’ve played an important role this season. Or maybe, just maybe, they might be getting a go soon. Anyway, it looks like Mason Holgate had a nice time slotting some pop star i’ve never heard of. Well in Mason.
God knows what team Gravy Sam will put out this weekend. Does he even care about away games? I barely do as we never win them. We don’t try to win them to be honest.
Full backs will be an interesting choice. Baines was pictured working his socks off at this camp. Not sure how ready he is though. But the thought of Martina, as well as he played last time, against Deulofeu or Richarlison gives me the fear. Hopefully Coleman can play on the other side. Nothing against Kenny, but he’s understudy for now.
Ramiro Funes Mori reckons he’s ready to play according to his many many many Instagram posts. Amazing how good he’s got while he’s been out injured. I gives it 6 minutes into his return until we all remember he has no brain. Nice man bun though.
Everton did a Everton this week, announcing Gana’s new contract, even though he signed it in October apparently. I still like him, but 5 years seems a bit steep. Hopefully the midfield stays similar to the Palace game with Davies and Rooney alongside Gana. But Sam will probably play Schneiderlin because ‘he’s a quality player’. *sigh.
Up front, Oumar Niasse mate. Oumar bloody Niasse. Arguably our player of the season (close with Pickford). Nobody saw that coming. I find it hard to hate on Niasse. I didn’t used to, but in a season where everything that could go wrong did go wrong, our ‘worst’ player has saved us. Cenk Tosun has got rave reviews off coaching staff in the trip away, so he could start I guess, but would be harsh on Niasse. Or we could play two strikers. Hahahahaha good one.
Somehow we are insanely close to 7th place in the league despite not being safe completely from the drop yet. I guess that says a lot about the quality of the Premier League at the moment. In one of our most frustrating seasons ever we could still qualify for Europe. If we even want that poisoned chalice. It really messed up the season, and it might mean we are stuck with Sam Allardyce for longer than we really need to be. And nobody really wants that. Tough decisions before the end of the season for us fans. Let’s just hope there’s some tough decisions made at the club too.
Oh and Watford, can you please use a different song to come out to?
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