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Everton vs Arsenal – Saturday 19th December – 5:30PM KO

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STAY NOW, BABY IF YOU GOT TO GO AWAY to Leicester and win and keep another sheet.

At least I think they are the lyrics to that old East-17 song which is only thought about as a Christmas song because it has bells (Londoners ;)) in it, and snow in the video. Really it’s just about being jibbed off by a bird.

Oh yeah, Everton, well, aren’t we the solid shits at the moment. That’s Chelsea and Leicester shafted in the space of 4 days and they’re meant to be dead good sides. I mean, they are dead good sides, but maybe, just maybe, we are too.

Despite that blip we are sitting nicely in 5th place and only 5 points off top spot. I say blip, we all basically crucified every single player we had, and nearly… very nearly turned on the biggest manager we’ve had in recent years. But we can ignore that now as we are back baby.

There’s an element of fortune to this too. The back 4 for example, look solid as all hell. Yes Holgate and Godfrey aren’t really full backs, but for the two games we’ve just had it may actually have been better for us to not have the bombarding Coleman and Digne leaving gaps at the back which good players could exploit. Not that all that stopped Mase the Face bagging on Wednesday. Love that kid. So much more likeable than John Stones if we want to discuss signings from Barnsley over the years.

Obviously Everton can’t have it all their own way, and, after starting his usual excellent self, Allan snapped his hamstring and now joins our growing injury list of some of our best players. But hey, only Liverpool get injuries if you ask a certain German….well….twat. Not like we have James Rodriguez, Lucas Digne, Seamus Coleman and now Allan out is it?

Anyway, Allan’s misfortune had a positive. I’ve been, perhaps over, critical of Doucoure since he joined. I didn’t get why we went for him. Yes we needed that type of player, but not one who just shitted a season at a team getting relegated. BUT now I get it. Now I see what he can do and what he can be, and honestly how important he is for us. Once Allan went off, Doucoure was literally everywhere. Tackling, running with it, linking. Now I get it.

So who wants some now? Oh it’s 15th placed Arsenal. LOL.

I remember the day Mikel Arteta left Everton. I was heartbroken and devastated. He’d been my favourite player for a long long time and I didn’t speak to anyone the next day.

It’s only since then i’ve learned what a whiney, wet, cry baby little rat he was about his departure. So get to fuck Mikel. But thanks for some boss memories where we still didn’t win anything.

But he’s a manager now at a club which is way way way way too big for him. I was worried about him coming to us as his first job in management and my fears would have been justified it seems. Being Guardiola’s yes man doesn’t mean you become a good manager. He’s really struggling to get them going. A complete lack of character in that squad being shown in just how many cards they seem to get these days.

But to be serious for a second, they do still have a strong squad. Let’s take a look.

Leno starts in nets. He’s….ok. But reckon that they should have kept Martinez to challenge him.

At the back, we flirted with Gabriel a lot and he jibbed us off, so serves him right that he’s suspended for this game. That’s a good thing as he’s decent. I do quite like the Holding kid at the back too. Not top class or anything but alright. Full backs are the excellent Tierney, and either Bellerin…a bit shit or Maitland-Niles who is also a bit shit but the better option for me. I wonder if David Luiz may be fit enough to replace Gabriel.

In midfield, Xhaka is also suspended. That’s a bad thing as he’s awful so would have been good if he was playing. Hopefully Elneny plays, because he really is awful. Not sure what’s happened to Cabellos this season. Looks a shadow of the decent player we saw there last season. Joe Willock seems to have gone backwards too.

I think midfield is their problem now I write about it. Weak as piss.

Forwards, lets be thankful Aubamayang broke his drought in the week as we know how often we help underperforming strikers out, but he is still a danger. Pepe has been a huge disappointment for them, but I do like the look of the young guns Saka and Nketiah. We’ll buy them when Arsenal go down.

Jokes of course. Midfield aside, they are a decent side just on a shitty run. Don’t get me started on those Arenal fan TV weirdos. Fan TV in general needs binning.

1-0 to them on Saturday probs.

Tricky time for all managers with so many games in a short space of time. But it’s everyone. So stop moaning about it.

Was interesting to see Olsen in nets on Wednesday. He didn’t have much to do, but I don’t know, I just felt calmer with him there. I didn’t get the feeling he was about to have a panic attack and launch the ball at Vardy’s head and into the net. Which I may have had should our other keeper have been in goal.

Alas, Pickford starts on Saturday, as Anceoltti loves a random goalie swap. To be fair, Pickford had been very good the two previous games. You just get that feeling don’t you? You know….

At the back, Coleman is back fit. Which is nice…..but do we really want to disrupt that back 4? Real tough one. Even Mina is playing well the dancing loony. Digne still out. Godfrey is a beast by the way. Fit right in.

And that leads us to the who replaces Allan question. There’s a few options which is nice. Option 1, do what we did Wednesday. Let Doucoure be everywhere. Option 2, move Holgate to where Allan would be and put Coleman right back. Or Option 3, Tom Davies. I often forget about Tom, so well in the memory. I’d probably go option 1. But that’s just me.

James Rodriguez is still out, again not such a bad thing for these sorts of games, so Sigurdsson gets to build on his great form from the last 2 games. Unleash a fresh Hames against United on Wednesday.

Great to see Richarlison slot on, DCL’s turn next, or maybe even the reborn Iwobi gets in on the slotting against his old club.

I don’t hate our players right now I have to tell you.

And that’s Everton.

Can’t tell you how much I was dreading this little run of fixtures. Chelsea, snotted. Leicester beasted. What’s next for Ancelotti’s men?

Oh yeah, let’s get Lego Head Arteta the sack.

On a side note, this is the last preview from me before Christmas, so whatever you’re doing, be careful and enjoy it as much as you can in this mad world we live in at the moment.




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